Was it over before it ever began

I am a grown woman. I do not have to apologize for every action or make excuses for not pleasing everyone.

Phew! That felt good.

Hot. Sick. Burnt. Need aloe vera in places I can't reach easily. 'Twould be really nice to have him here to reach them.

"I didn't know about tacos"
"Oh, are you coming tonight?"
"Yeah! Em just texted me about it!"
"Great!"

<3

I still remember the first time you called me beautiful. And the "key." MAN I gotz it bad! Somehow I don't mind this time. Somehow it's happy just thinking about it. Somehow I'll figure it all out, like I always do.

"He's a really good guy.."

P.S. Since Wednesday I've been trying to get a chance to see him alone. Wednesday night we mixed cellular signals, he fell asleep with my letters of recommendation. I was able to get them with the help of his mom, then take a nap at someone's house which I did not want to take a nap at (ack, long story), then wake up 2 hours after I was supposed to be at his house for tacos. Luckily they were still taco-makin'. Unluckily I was exhausted, he was exhausted, we all left at the same time and there was no opportunity to "tell" him. Next night I cancel my plans to go to a bon fire in order to potentially see him if he goes (perfect setting, hell-o). He can't show.

Perhaps this means it should not happen yet. That's okie! I haven't been able to really reconnect like I've wanted to. That Saturday night was how I've always wanted it to be.. Everyone is rooting for me. But then again everyone roots for the underdog. There's no need to fear, Underdog is here!