You could be the queen, and I would be the king

Let me do something I don't normally do, and recommend music. Jamin Wilcox is the drummer (or was, maybe) of one of my favorite bands, Under the Influence of Giants. All of the UTIOG members have broken off and started to experiment flying solo, which I'm not a huge fan of since that usually means an eventual break up, though some of the results have been splendid. Like Jamin's songs.

So excited for this weekend! I will not get ahead of myself on this one. I will not get ahead of myself on this one. Repeat after me, self. I will not get ahead of myself! Self!

There's always this wall that you hit in the semester, as a college student. Or perhaps it's only for creative-based studies, but there's always this make it or break it wall. I'm not saying I'm not making it, but it's taking me much longer to crack through that wall -- before I would have already gotten through but now I'm barely making a dent. I've handled tougher projects under more strenuous deadlines with a heavier workload ON TOP of personal issues (e.g. deployment/divorce/moving combo), this semester is not that tough, why does it feel so tough?

At first I started wondering if I'm getting artistically lazy. But then my Friday class always inspires me to work as hard as I can, and I stay late in order to keep on drawing on those days.. I think I'm starting to get a little worn out. I don't know, I shouldn't get worn out, I should be able to handle this if I'm passionate enough about it and want to pursue it in the real world. Then again, in the real world, I wouldn't necessarily be juggling 12-15 units with a job.

Maybe it's because I'm not going to be tracing everything in graphite, and I'm just burnt out of my graphite/colored pencil class, haha.

Well, I'm not going to worry about it, despite the fact that I probably will worry at least a little. My plate is full, but I've filled up larger plates and felt more efficient. I was getting like this this time last year, and then summer hit and it was glorious and I was single and discovering myself all over again. Maybe I need to skip the second job and just live. All work and no play make Shana go something something. GO CRAZY?! Don't mind if I do!

(I will not get ahead of myself. Eep, so excited though. What am I gonna weaaar, I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, but I do, but who cares I want to be pretty, but he should think I'm pretty anyway if this is going anywhere else, aaaah okay. Back to sanity.)